I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize