oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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