Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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