I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
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