yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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