I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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