What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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