Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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