My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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