it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
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First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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