I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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