He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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