Define "chronic" masturbator.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
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what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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