I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
The adults are the big ones right?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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