she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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