I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Everyone says I win the strip club
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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