He kissed a someone with a penis
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
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