Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize