she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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