I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize