I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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