I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
they're like a gay fantastic four
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you inspire me to be a worse person
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I currently don't understand fingers.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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