R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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