all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize