i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
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Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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