if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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