and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
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