don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
She's like a pop up book from hell.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
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library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
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I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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