im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize