i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
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That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
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FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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