Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize