With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
The air was thick with penises
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
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