Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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