New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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