i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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