If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize