Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
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It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
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I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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