we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize