Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize