i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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