it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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