i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
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you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
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A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
My life is pants optional.
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