Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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