I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize