Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize