i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
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My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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