Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
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