i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
soo... how was my night?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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