can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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