You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize